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Archives 07-04-2001

North County Lines by Bob

An Award Winning Column

For comments or questions contact Bob at bobncl@hotmail.com

 

 

 

While stopped at a red light, I noticed the car in front of me had a bumper sticker with WWJD. I asked the person beside me what the letters meant. She replied, "What would Jesus do?"

"Jesus of Nazareth?" I asked.

"Yes, of course," she said. "Who else would it be?"

"A lot of people are named Jesus," I said. "As crazy as this world is, the bumper sticker could be referring to a Cuban baseball player. You know how people worship sports celebrities like they're supreme beings."

"It's the Jesus in the Bible," she said, "not a Cuban baseball player. Trust me on this one."

"That's strange," I said, "I've read the Gospels of the Christian Bible hundreds of times and I don't remember Jesus driving a car."

"Don't be silly," she said, "they didn't have cars back then."

A thought flashed in my head: If Jesus suddenly became the person driving the car with the WWJD bumper sticker, what would he do?

According to what Jesus told his disciples as recorded in the Gospels of the Christian Bible, the first thing he would do is sell his car and everything else he owned except for the clothes he was wearing.

After giving all his money to a worthwhile charity, he would hit the road, walking from here to there, spreading his gospel of faith, love, and forgiveness.

He wouldn't worry about what to eat or where to sleep. He would trust a Heavenly Provider to supply all his needs.

As soon as he reached a large city, he would go to the slums where suffering is a constant part of life. He would share his good news with the homeless, the hookers, the alcoholics, the addicts, with those who are crippled on the inside, with those who are crippled on the outside.

When asked what he's doing among the down and outers, he would say something like, "I am the Good Shepherd. I have come to reclaim my flock, to lead them home, back into the Heavenly Kingdom where they belong."

When asked where this kingdom can be found, he would say something like, "Don't say ‘Look here!' or ‘Look there!' The Kingdom of Heaven is within you."

While passing out blankets at a homeless shelter, Jesus would see a pack of wolves disguised as sheep on television.

Using back roads and alleys to avoid being arrested for vagrancy, he would go to a so-called Christian broadcasting station that televises so-called Christian preachers begging for money in the name of Jesus.

While flipping over tables and smashing cameras, he would yell something like, "Liars! Hypocrites! Blasphemers! Stop using my name to justify stealing from the elderly and the mentally disabled!”

Being too concerned with the money-making aspects of their business venture, everyone working in the television studio would fail to recognize Jesus as Jesus. To them he would be a maniac, a troublemaker, a madman who didn't understand the true meaning of Christianity.

After being arrested and charged with vandalism and disorderly conduct, Jesus would be hauled off to a police station to be fingerprinted and booked.

When asked for his date of birth, Jesus would say something like, "Before the beginning of creation."

When asked for his Social Security number, Jesus would say something like, "I'm not a number. You can't divide or subtract me, no matter how hard you try."

After refusing his one phone call, Jesus would be led to a cell. Unable to make bond, he would remain there until his case could be heard in court.

When asked by the judge why he did what he did, Jesus would say something like, "Man-made laws must be broken when they violate the laws of the Supreme Creator."

Finding Jesus in contempt of court, the judge would order him returned to his cell until he could be mentally evaluated.

Jesus would say something like, "Put me in a cage if you must. But bars and fences can't restrain the Spirit within me."

Angered because Jesus refused to be intimidated, the Judge would ask Jesus if he was crazy or just faking.

Jesus would say something like, "When I walked upon the water, I knew only drowning men could see me. It's too bad I sank beneath your wisdom like a stone."

Intrigued by the strange words of the man standing in front of him, the judge would ask Jesus if he had anything else to say before being dragged off to jail.

Jesus would say something like, "When my children ask for mercy, don't answer with tyranny. When my children ask for bread, don't hand them stones. Beyond the world you only think is real, is an everlasting paradise that awaits the arrival of my children, that awaits the arrival of the homeless, the hungry, the poor, the outcasts of your society, an eternal place of bliss where the oppressed can cast off their chains and soar free with the angels of Heaven forever."

Afraid Jesus was a revolutionary, and rightly so, whose ideas could lead to the destruction of a society ruled by the haves at the expense of the have-nots, the judge would order Jesus transported to a maximum security prison and locked in solitary confinement indefinitely.

On his way there, while shackled and handcuffed in the back of a police car, Jesus would see a car with a WWJD bumper sticker.

Silently speaking to the Spirit that dwells within, Jesus would say something like, "Another useless display of feigned belief, I would rather see one person helping another instead of 10 billion slogans that accomplish nothing."

 

 

 

 

Overton County News
415 West Main Street
P.O. Box 479
Livingston, Tennessee 38570
tel 931.823.6485
fax 931.823.6486
ocnews@usit.net

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